Congressional Night Before Christmas

It was the night before Christmas and all through the House.

Representatives were stirring holiday eggnog along with the Senators.

All the December 17th furlough notices were mailed to the federal employees with care.

Had to make sure they were received before employees could have any holiday cheer.

Employees hoped they had jobs this coming year.

All the voters were nestled, all snug in their homes,

While visions of a "Wonder Life" they behold;

No federal employees could rest or nap, wondering if Christmas would arrive this night.

Not knowing if this was their last payday, they explained to all the Tiny Tims, “Santa may not come this year.”

While back on the Capitol lawn there arose such a clutter, as Congress was leaving their festive parties and chatter.

Exhausted but satisfied leaders from both parties came together to announce that Congress had successfully completed more than 12 hours of holiday card writing.

They had beaten the deadline for the US Post Office closing for good.

It seems the public trust police have threatened members of Congress against wishing constituents a "Merry Christmas," if they want to do so in a mailing paid for with tax dollars.

They were told that no holiday greetings, including "Merry Christmas," can be sent in official mail.

Congress members send millions of dollars’ worth of mail to voters every year,

But the 112th Congress did get clarification from the Franking Commission - no Merry Christmas or Happy New Year – but they can say “have a happy new year.”

As chauffeured cars arrived to drive Congressman away to their perfectly holiday decorated homes on the taxpayers’ dime,

They could be heard exclaiming, “There is nothing more satisfying than knowing you've just put in a full day of getting funding passed so that those holiday cards can be sent.”

“We leave now for those much earned days off; have a happy new year – and to voters a good night!”